Fear can rule over our lives if we are not careful to identify exactly what we are afraid of. For me, the center of my fears is this: I was mostly afraid that I would fail God. That somehow He would wake up one day and see all my flaws and wonder why He had chosen me to lead His ministry. Every decision, every choice, was centered on that fear: I better get this right or I might not get to do this anymore. All the details had to be worked out in my mind to be sure I wasn’t going to mess anything up. If I couldn’t “see” it through, the project was put on hold until I could either figure it out on my own or found someone I could call in for some help. My mind was always engaged: comparing, evaluating, analyzing. My body was always moving, trying to fix everything so that the path would remain free of problems. I did not want God to be dishonored in any way by my incompetence.
Yea, I see the flaws…now.
Out of fear of failing God I was trying to control the ministry He had given to me…as if I could ever fully plan out its path.
But God (I really LOVE that phrase!) loves us so much that He doesn’t leave us chained to fears. HE BREAKS US FREE from them! These past 6 months have been filled with so many challenges. There have been countless times when I was freaked out because of a ministry decision I needed to make, filled with fear that I might make the wrong choice and fail God. At one point, on the edge of completely being overwhelmed I had to throw up my hands and say “OK God, have Your way…I can’t figure any of this out at all! Please forgive me for being so incompetent. Please don’t take this Ministry away from me because I don’t know what I am doing!”
And in that surrender, even in a surrender that felt a little bit like defeat, God broke the final chains. The result has been a sweet sense of release of the responsibility I had been carrying around. This ministry is NOT mine to plan, control, or grow. It is God’s and He knows what He’s doing. My role is to wait and follow. In that there is freedom from having to work out all the details…freedom from failing from making the wrong choice.
I have no idea what God is going to do next. I wish I did, but instead of being afraid, I am waiting in eager anticipation for what’s coming, ever mindful now that He IS in control and will continue to grow this ministry (if that’s part of His plan) His way, which will be better than anything I can come up with on my own.
The same is true for you as well. You too can be freed from the chains of fear in the planning out of the details of your life. Invite God into your story. Ask Him to take over and then follow His lead. While His plan has often been very different than mine and has grown and stretched me in ways I would have rather not have experienced, He has never let me down and I believe he will never let you down either.
Here is the rest of Psalm 23 and what God has shown me within it’s words as a testimony to His goodness for all of us…
(From my journal on this Psalm) Psalm 23 (4-6)
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Because God is in control, even the worst nightmare situations of this world are tamed because He protects us, He guides us, and He corrects us lovingly.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
Because God watches over us, even in the presence of the evil we have faced and will continue to face in this life, we have a safe place from which to draw nourishment and rest.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
You, Oh God, have wooed me to you and have claimed me as one of your own. I am overwhelmed by your perfect love, by your grace in spite of my wandering off, by your power to protect and flood me with your peace even in the midst of difficult trials. Please draw my sisters close as well.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
When we allow God to lead, to dictate our path, and to guide us, nothing can hold us back–not fear, not temptation, not past sins. We are free when we remain close to God.
So, what’s next for Peace of Mind Ministries? I have NO idea… but I am no longer afraid of not having a plan, of failing God with a choice, of not being enough, or of this part of my story coming to an end. I KNOW God has a plan and I am choosing to rest in that.
I pray that this series has given you the courage to face your fears from within the safe loving arms of God. May you too be freed from whatever chains are holding you back from living the life you have been given to the full (John 10:10).
I am praying for you!
Looking for a dynamic, personable speaker for your next church retreat or ladies meeting ?
Look no further!
- No Leading Allowed
- The Next Book You Need to Read!
- Saying Good-by…for Now
- Making Space for God Link-Up: Worry-Free Parenting
- Already There
- Making Space for God Link-Up: Cultivating Wisdom
- Roller Coaster Faith
- Making Space for God Link-Up: Prioritizing Marriage
- Overcoming Doubt
- Making Space For God Link-Up: The Kindness Challenge