Going my own way

Chances are you have a navigation system of some kind in your life. Maybe you have one built into your car, maybe you have one you plug in or maybe you do what I do and use your phone.

Here’s my question: Do you trust it?

Last week I was using my navigation system to lead me to a new dog grooming salon. I had a general idea of where I was going, but I wanted to be sure I didn’t get lost so I typed in the address and set off. Once I got out of my neighborhood I took the first turn as directed, but at the first stop sign well… let’s just say I wanted to be sure that the guide would take me where I thought I was going, so I tapped the icon that allows me to see the whole route spelled out, just to be sure the guide was sending me the direction I thought I was supposed to go. As I was getting closer to where I thought I was going I thought the guide was wrong in telling me to turn right when I thought I should go straight, so I ignored it. Finally, because I was paying more attention to looking around to be sure I could figure out where I was going I stopped paying attention to the guide and missed a turn.

Frustrated, I turned around and got back on course. That’s when God let me have it.

“You do that with me too…”

What?!? Do what with you?

“You have accepted my Son and invited me to be the leader of your life, yet you continually try to take over. You take turns that weren’t part of my plan, get distracted from where I want you to go, and run around trying to figure it all out. You SAY you want me to lead you, but you are always trying to go your own way.”

I had made the choice to use that navigation system to get me where I wanted to go, yet I didn’t trust it to get me there. Similarly, I had made the decision to accept that Jesus is who He says he is and gave over the leadership of the life I had been given to Him, yet I still struggle with trusting Him…

  • I believe Him, but I don’t always trust how He leads.
  • I want the whole picture (like tapping that icon) instead of just resting in the step I am on so I create a plan beyond it.
  • I want everything to fit neatly into my view of how things should look.
  • I often go off on my own, choosing for myself how to do what He asks me to do without waiting on His direction.
  • I miss His turns because I am too busy paying attention to everything else BUT Him.

Going my own way has often worn me out, added the burden of more responsibility that I wasn’t meant to have, and has chained me to my own expectations (and other’s) instead of living in freedom to experience the step I am on to its fullest potential. Yet, I still hold out, not fully trusting His leadership–His navigation plan for my life.

Sometimes I wonder when I will get His Truth cemented in my heart deep enough that I will live continually trusting Him over myself. How many wrong turns will it take? How many self-guided misadventures will have to happen before I trust Him with all that I am?

As the director of a ministry, this whole self-guided direction business is downright dangerous. This calling is not mine to dictate—I am merely the vessel God chose to use. Like clay cannot tell the potter how it should be molded, so too is it true that I cannot seek to create the ministry God has given me; I can only allow God to mold me into it.

You turn things upside down,
    as if the potter were thought to be like the clay!
Shall what is formed say to him who formed it,
    “He did not make me”?
Can the pot say of the potter,
    “He knows nothing”? (Isaiah 29:16)

“Yet, O Lord, you are our Father.We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” (Isaiah 64:8)

Thankfully, that day God covered me with His grace…filling me with a Holy conviction that while I had messed up yet again He would still guide me forward from here if I would allow Him to. Repentance washed over me, followed by a hope that this change can be done. I can learn to allow God deeper into my heart and grow to trust Him completely.

Here’s my plan:

  1. Examine my motives daily. Daily ask myself “Am I seeking to live for God in this decision or myself and others?”
  2. Act on God’s impulse, not my plan. God often doesn’t give a detailed to-do list, just one thing at a time. Am I focusing on that one thing?
  3. Get accountability. I have an accountability partner who will hold me to God’s truth in my personal life, but I don’t yet have one specific to ministry work. That will change.

Challenge: I am hoping that I am not the only person on this blog that has this type of control issue! If you struggle with this too, and would like to join me in focusing on implementing these action steps, please share your experiences…your “Aha! Moments”  if you will, when you allow God to lead and He shows up. Together we can encourage one another to stop going our own way and learn to completely trust that God’s way IS the right way.

I am praying for you!

Stephanie

PS. Here’s the theme song for this: You Can Have Me. Sidewalk Prophets

October 29, 2012 at 5:00 am | Daily Cup of Encouragement, Ministry Development | Comments (0)

You, yes YOU have influence

Good Morning Girls! (Or…good afternoon, evening…whatever :0) )

Recently I was a sponsor of an incredible conference called The Influence Conference. While designed for women who like (or want) to blog, this event focused on the fact that ALL women have influence. Whether we are single, married, mommies, career women or a mixture, what we do on a daily basis casts a sphere of influence on those we come into contact with.

How are you using yours?

Today, I am honored to share a few lessons I have learned from getting to know the women who attended the Influence conference about the struggles we all experience actually believing we have influence. I hope you will join me by clicking on the link to Jessi Connolly’s blog, Naptime Diaries (for you Seacoasters, this is Debbie Hopper’s daughter).

I will have another new post for you on Monday… Going My Own Way

I am praying for you!

Stephanie

October 26, 2012 at 5:05 am | Daily Cup of Encouragement | Comments (0)

Be Mindful of What You Focus On

photo from livebeyondawesome.com (Click for link)

 

This is what I wrote after my quiet time this morning:

“I’ve been living worried I won’t be enough instead of trusting Jesus is.”

I am surprised to find this on my heart. When did I start worrying I wasn’t enough? When did I even begin to focus on myself instead of Jesus? But, these are some of the thoughts that I have allowed to flit around in my head lately: Do I post enough blogs? Do enough people know I am out here? Do I tweet often enough? Do enough people see what I post? 

When did I start comparing myself so much?

And these: Will I ever be able to say I am done? Will I ever have enough accomplished to be able to just rest?

When did I start living for myself?

“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” (Galatians 5:16)

I have not been living by the Spirit. I have allowed my sinful nature to take over…again. I got lazy. I thought I had “it” all figured out. Somewhere I began to listen to the lie that I didn’t need Jesus to guide me anymore. Ouch.

I. NEED. JESUS.

Father, Why do I revert to my own strength and wear myself out when Your strength is infinite? Why do I revert to my own ideas of how to do things when Your wisdom is unlimited? Why do I revert to fear and doubt when Your perfect love casts out fear? Please forgive my sinfulness. Please, help me to remember that what You have given me  is not just something to check off of a list, but something alive to experience.

I am nothing. It is Jesus living in me who is anything. I know this and yet I still make poor choices, allow lies to infect my heart, and still strive to be more. I think this is the beginning of the peeling off of another layer. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” I think for me this is a slow process of removing layer after layer after layer of my sinful nature so I can learn to really see who I am in Christ clearly.

Josh Wilson’s song Fall Apart has been on my mind for the last 24 hours, specifically these words:

God I want to know you more. Maybe this is how it starts…I’ll find you when I fall apart…

Another layer of myself is falling apart. I am humbled to realize it is a pride-filled one, but so grateful God didn’t allow it to stay there.

I’ll share more as I experience more. For now, know that I am spending some time shifting my focus off of me and onto Jesus

I am praying for you (and myself)!

Stephanie

October 23, 2012 at 12:07 pm | Daily Cup of Encouragement | Comments (2)

Why dropping my phone in the toilet was a good thing…

http://live.drjays.com/index.php/2012/02/01/mobile-phone-habits-talking-on-the-toilet/

Yeah, I did it. I dropped my cell phone in the toilet. It was in a jacket pocket and I had forgotten about it. $100 later I have a replacement, but not without going without a phone for 36 hours.

Can you imagine? No cell phone for 36 hours… I am sure some of you are absolutely panicked at the thought.

So was I. At first I was embarrassed that I had done something so stupid. Then I was mad at myself. Then I realized I was completely cut-off and began to freak out:

How will I call anyone? I don’t know anyone’s number! I simply tell the voice dialer who to call and it gets done!

How will I text anyone?

How will I check both my email accounts?

How will I take pictures?

How will I check in with hootsuite?

How will I check in with my sisters in the facebook groups I follow?

How will I keep up with my twitter feed?

Yes, I have a computer I can use, but my cell phone allowed me to be mobile. I could check in while cooking, doing laundry, talking on the phone, sitting at a stop light (I DO NOT text or use my phone while driving except with an earpiece). Not having a cell phone meant I would have to stop…doing.

Uh-huh.

No cell phone meant having to focus on what was right in front of me. Oh, I TRY to do that, really I do, but every time that phone buzzes  or chirps or beeps or blinks I am instantly distracted wondering who’s on my phone. Do they need me? Is it just someone else’s comment on facebook? Is it a text from my husband telling me he loves me? Is it a voicemail from my daughter’s school? No matter what I am doing at the moment, once that phone makes a noise my focus is gone.

Maybe that’s just me…

The day my new phone arrived in the mail I re-arranged my schedule and went straight over to Sprint. When the tech guy at Sprint turned on my new phone it beeped with notifications for a solid 4 minutes. He looked at me funny and asked, “There are over 200 notifications here. How long has your phone been off?”

I answered “36 hrs.” His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Is this a work phone?”

“NO” I answered. “I don’t work… I run a ministry though…” (I felt I had to add that last one in order to explain how a stay-at-home mom could have so many texts, updates, emails and the like)

On the drive home I kept replaying my conversation. 200 notifications in 36 hours. 5.5 notifications every hour. But, if you condense that into the usual reception hours of 6am-9pm, that’s 24 hours, which is a little over 8 notifications an hour. 8 times every hour I am interrupted. What’s even more interesting is that only 1 text notification was directed to me specifically ( I had emailed my closest friends and told them I was without a phone). Pretty pathetic that I was allowing people and their conversations with others to interrupt the flow of my day. A sneaky, horrible thought surfaced: was I being mastered in some way by a need to feel connected through a cell phone?

To test out this theory, once I got home and set up my phone, I decided to silence it while I was working in some way. From writing to cooking dinner to walking our dog and everything else on my to-do list each day I determined to keep my phone in the other room (I am going to create a special ring tone for my daughter’s number and her school’s number so I don’t have to wonder if that notification could be her…)  or in silent mode. You know what has happened? I haven’t had to stop writing every few minutes in response to a beep. I haven’t lost track of  what my son was trying to tell me about his latest adventure on his video game. I wasn’t constantly wondering where my phone was. And, I wasn’t trying to see what everyone else was doing in order to be sure I wasn’t missing out on an opportunity of some kind. I was free to focus on what was right in front of me, moving through my to-do list uninterrupted.

I learned to manage my cell phone instead of letting it manage me.

Now, when I write, check email, cook dinner, do laundry, listen to my son, sit in the car, watch TV, or do anything else that I want to focus on, I turn my phone off. I turn it on when I want to check what’s going on or make a phone call. Life is much more focused…

For my sweet sisters out there who are so very busy with the workings of their lives, could you be more focused, more peace-filled if you dropped your phone in the toilet too? Have you ever considered how your day could change for the better if you managed your cell phone instead of letting it manage you?

I am praying for you!

Stephanie

 

October 17, 2012 at 2:00 am | Daily Cup of Encouragement | Comments (0)

Breaking Free from Fear: The Final Entry

This is the final in a series of four posts I have done about the Lord’s provision in breaking me free from fear. You can find the previous posts by clicking on their parts: Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3

Fear can rule over our lives if we are not careful to identify exactly what we are afraid of. For me, the center of my fears is this: I was mostly afraid that I would fail God. That somehow He would wake up one day and see all my flaws and wonder why He had chosen me to lead His ministry. Every decision, every choice, was centered on that fear: I better get this right or I might not get to do this anymore. All the details had to be worked out in my mind to be sure I wasn’t going to mess anything up. If I couldn’t “see” it through, the project was put on hold until I could either figure it out on my own or found someone I could call in for some help. My mind was always engaged: comparing, evaluating, analyzing. My body was always moving, trying to fix everything so that the path would remain free of problems. I did not want God to be dishonored in any way by my incompetence.

Yea, I see the flaws…now.

Out of fear of failing God I was trying to control the ministry He had given to me…as if I could ever fully plan out its path.

But God (I really LOVE that phrase!) loves us so much that He doesn’t leave us chained to fears. HE BREAKS US FREE from them! These past 6 months have been filled with so many challenges. There have been countless times when I was freaked out because of a ministry decision I needed to make, filled with fear that I might make the wrong choice and fail God. At one point, on the edge of completely being overwhelmed I had to throw up my hands and say “OK God, have Your way…I can’t figure any of this out at all! Please forgive me for being so incompetent. Please don’t take this Ministry away from me because I don’t know what I am doing!”

And in that surrender, even in a surrender that felt a little bit like defeat, God broke the final chains. The result has been a sweet sense of release of the responsibility I had been carrying around. This ministry is NOT mine to plan, control, or grow. It is God’s and He knows what He’s doing. My role is to wait and follow. In that there is freedom from having to work out all the details…freedom from failing from making the wrong choice.

I have no idea what God is going to do next. I wish I did, but instead of being afraid, I am waiting in eager anticipation for what’s coming, ever mindful now that He IS in control and will continue to grow this ministry (if that’s part of His plan) His way, which will be better than anything I can come up with on my own.

The same is true for you as well. You too can be freed from the chains of fear in the planning out of the details of your life. Invite God into your story. Ask Him to take over and then follow His lead. While His plan has often been very different than mine and has grown and stretched me in ways I would have rather not have experienced, He has never let me down and I believe he will never let you down either.

Here is the rest of Psalm 23 and what God has shown me within it’s words as a testimony to His goodness for all of us…

from Photobucket.com a-u-b-48"s album/prayers

(From my journal on this Psalm) Psalm 23 (4-6)

Even though I walk  through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

Because God is in control, even the worst nightmare situations of this world are tamed because He protects us, He guides us, and He corrects us lovingly.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

Because God watches over us, even in the presence of the evil we have faced and will continue to face in this life, we have a safe place from which to draw nourishment and rest.

You anoint my head with oil;  my cup overflows.

You, Oh God, have wooed me to you and have claimed me as one of your own. I am overwhelmed by your perfect love, by your grace in spite of my wandering off, by your power to protect and flood me with your peace even in the midst of difficult trials. Please draw my sisters close as well.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

When we allow God to lead, to dictate our path, and to guide us, nothing can hold us back–not fear, not temptation, not past sins. We are free when we remain close to God.

 

So, what’s next for Peace of Mind Ministries? I have NO idea… but I am no longer afraid of not having a plan, of failing God with a choice, of not being enough, or of this part of my story coming to an end. I KNOW God has a plan and I am choosing to rest in that.

I pray that this series has given you the courage to face your fears from within the safe loving arms of God. May you too be freed from whatever chains are holding you back from living the life you have been given to the full (John 10:10).

I am praying for you!

Stephanie

 

 

October 15, 2012 at 8:29 am | Breaking Free From Fear Series, Daily Cup of Encouragement | Comments (0)

Breaking Free From Fear, Pt. 3

This week I have been sharing how God broke me free from the fears I have had in my life, specifically in running Peace of Mind Ministries. He has shown me His lessons of grace, mercy and love through Psalm 23. You can find Pt. 1 HERE, and Pt. 2 HERE.

Today I share the lessons I have learned associated with the second half of verse 3: “He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” (vs. 3b)

The fruit of Righteousness Photograph - The fruit of Righteousness Fine Art ... fineartamerica.com

I have learned over the past six months that when God leads I am given a path through life that provides all I need to handle whatever comes my way with love, grace and mercy–thereby becoming a living testimony to His love for all of us.

I used to be so afraid that I wouldn’t be enough that I would jump from path to path, searching endlessly for just the right way to be whoever the person or situation needed me to be. It was a very confusing existence based on others’ expectations, needs, and desires.

In ministry this fear of not being enough morphed into trying out everything everyone else suggested out of fear that if I didn’t I might miss some way of connecting with women. Blogging, video-blogging, give-a-ways,  facebook pages, twitter feeds, following other’s comments, reaching out for others to follow me, attending conferences to get the latest ideas, checking in on facebook to see how I might post about God’s peace, creating monthly newsletters,  and mailing out speaker and book packets to churches all added up to one big mess for me. Don’t get me wrong, I believe all these things can and are used by others for God’s glory. The problem was that I was trying to do ALL of them out of fear that I might miss something.

Pretty pathetic, right?

 

All of it was for MY recognition, not God’s. I was living for my own name’s sake, not His. Shocking, I know, but that’s what fear makes us do, isn’t it? Things we otherwise, with rational thought, wouldn’t engage in.

When I realized that I was worrying about how to do all “that” so much that is began affecting how I lived I finally realized I was in the wrong. You see, when God calls us into something, He also equips us for that purpose: 20 May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, 21 equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” (Hebrews 13:20-22) All I was trying to do in my own strength and on my own terms was causing a lot of stress in my life and in my relationships. My priorities were slowly slipping out of order. The stress I was under to perform the way I thought I should clearly wasn’t being “equipped.” I was out of His will in all this.

With that realization came absolute repentance. I was in the wrong and I didn’t want to be. In prayer I confessed my obstinate behavior, my faithlessness, and my fears. I committed, again, this ministry back into God’s capable hands, and asked Him to lead me in what to do.

Thankfully, God knows me so well He knew just what to do to break me free from the fear of not being connected enough: He cut me off. No blogging, video-blogging, face-booking, tweeting, following, conferences…nothing. Do you know what happened? Nothing. I didn’t miss anything. In fact, because I had my head out of cyberspace and into Him and the people He placed in my life, I became even more connected than all that striving in my own strength ever produced.

  • In my connected-ness with God I was not only freed from fear, but also restored from the weariness I caused trying to do it all (yet again…). He poured His love, grace, and mercy all over me, healing the wounds caused by the lies which caused the fears and restoring my faith in His leadership.
  • Because I had spent time with God getting to where He wanted me to be and letting go of where I thought I should be, all the other relationships in my life were affected with His love, grace, and mercy too. I treated them better, loved them with God’s love instead of my own, and offered more mercy and grace rather than short-tempered curt responses. My relationships, despite the busyness, became more peace-filled because I was content from the inside out. I was no longer striving for the world’s accolades, but rather living for God’s praise alone.
  • When I felt His release to go back to cyber space it was with a new purpose to PRAY for those I “saw” and then, out of those prayers and His Word, to write cyber-prayers, offer encouragement, and tell this story. It became LESS about connecting just to be seen, and ALL about connecting to share God’s love. That has made a HUGE difference in my desire to be in cyberspace…I hop on when I feel God’s nudge to check in and see who I can pray with and for, encourage, or otherwise shed His light on, as well as share what He is up to in my life. Am I a regular post-er anywhere? No. But gone too are the worries about being enough. Instead I have His peace whenever I am working on a blog (like right now) or something else for cyberspace instead of the fear I used to have.
Following God never seems to follow convention…and that’s the point isn’t it? His ways are higher than our ways, His thoughts higher than our thoughts…“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.” (Isaiah 55:8)
I hope you are being encouraged by this experience. God’s way IS the way that will break you free from your fears too!
I am praying for you!
Stephanie

October 12, 2012 at 2:10 am | Breaking Free From Fear Series, Daily Cup of Encouragement | Comments (0)

Breaking Free From Fear, Pt. 2

Earlier this week I posted about the journey I have been on with God as He breaks me free from the fears I have been living with. Today I share with you some more…

From Psalm 23

“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.”

Green Pastures; Still Waters. Green Pastures; Still Waters Acrylic lynnehollingsworth.blogspot.com

As a recovering wanna-do-it-all-superwoman the phrase “be still…” (Psalm 46:10) was very unfamiliar for most of my life. Being still meant I might not get “it” all done. It also meant I might let someone else down. Deep inside it meant I would not be good enough. All fears, caused by lies, that caused me to continually “do.” Weariness was always a part of my day…along with the guilt that because I was so weary I must not be doing things right.

In ministry work this attitude screamed at me to push harder to do more… be more innovative, be more professional, be more visible. The thoughts “Who am I that I am trying to run a ministry?”I have never been formally trained. I don’t have a clue what I am doing.” and “There are so mane others out there doing it better than me so who would ever listen to me?” ran rampant. Yes, I would pray, but I would always get right back up and “do” to keep the calling I had been given because I was afraid that if I didn’t God might take it away from me.

That’s no way to run a ministry, is it?

Again, it came down to control. I was trying to control the ministry, rather than letting God lead. I believe that’s why God nudged me to re-write Cultivating Peace. What I thought was going to be a simple re-formatting became an entire overhaul! In the middle of it, completely overwhelmed, I cried out “God, I thought this was going to be easy!! What happened? What did I do wrong?”

His answer? Stop striving and just trust me. Yes, I hate when He reminds me of the scripture He called me into His presence with (Psalm 46:10 says “Cease striving and know I am God”) so many years ago, but it’s still a valid way for God to get my attention. Yet, I was still afraid. What if I missed an opportunity? What if I didn’t get enough done? What if the whole thing fell apart?

But, because I knew I was on this journey to face my fears I chose ignore those fears and instead chose to obey God and stopped.

Because God is always watching over me (and you too, my sweet sister) He knows when I need to be sheltered from the rough, hectic pace of life and He provides rest for me so I can be rejuvenated. He knew I had been struggling, and He knew I needed to be freed from all the lies and fears. All He needed me to do was to follow Him. When I did, it made all the difference.  Yes, I was still busier than most, but the peace I felt when I followed him removed my weariness, energized my spirit, and guided me into periods of rest that completely restored my faith in Him…  ”He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.”  I can honestly say that at this moment I am a changed woman in terms of leading this ministry. It is not about me, it is about what God wants to do through me. In that, there are no more fears about being enough…

So, what happened? How did I get here? Out of obedience (and, since I am being completely honest here…a bit of defiance that said If that’s what you want God I hope you can deliver!) I decided to listen to what God wanted me to do over what I thought made sense. Here’s what He did with that:

  • He made sure I only had a few hours a day to write, which caused me to make a choice: work on the book until it was finished, or put it off and blog. I could not do both. I chose the path with the most peace, finishing the book, even though it meant I would not blog for a long time, even though I was afraid I would loose the momentum of that area of the ministry’s growth. As a result the book is more passion filled than ever because all my energies were put into it.
  • He made sure that my family needed me in new ways so that I needed to be present with them, not focused 24/7 on ministry work (which I would do, given the chance). My daughter started high school. My son is still home schooled with me. My husband is working through his own growth. My home still needed to be cleaned and laundry still needed to be done. Because I followed God’s lead in limiting how much I did for the ministry I was able to live the balanced life I teach God shows us when we follow Him.
  • He made sure I was surrounded by amazing women who committed to praying for me (THANK YOU!) through this process, as well as women who reminded me that having fun was a good thing (Yes, I am one of those all work, no play type of people…) as well as my family who wanted me to do things with them. Relationships are more important than the work I am doing and being present with the people He has placed in my life has not only nourished me, but has also given me new insights into how God is working. These new insights have completely enriched my blogging and speaking (not to mention the new material that went into the book!).
  • He made sure that my platform (audience) grew in ways I didn’t anticipate. I like to blog…it gives me a way to release what I have learned so that maybe someone else could be touched by God’s love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. But, I LOVE to speak. In the past six months, God has provided opportunities to speak to over 500 women! Blogging alone could never have reached so many women!
I had originally thought this series would be only two posts long…but I think He has a lot more to share. I hope you have been encouraged today to trust God a little more than you did yesterday; to give him something you have been struggling to control in your own strength in order that He may free you too from the chains of fear.
I am praying for you!
Stephanie

October 10, 2012 at 11:25 am | Daily Cup of Encouragement, Life's Lessons From God Series | Comments (1)

Breaking Free from Fear, Pt. 1

Over the past 18 months I have been on an incredible journey with God. There have been so many instances where He has shown himself to be bigger, more powerful, and more gracious and loving and merciful than I ever imagined. It has been a tough time of facing several fears I have lived with for most of my life, one by one. There have been moments of pure panic. There have been days of depression. There have been conflicts that I have had to learn to navigate with grace (both for myself and others). There have been lies I needed to rip out and replace with Truth. And, there have been those hold-your-breath-and jump-in experiences with moments of falling before His hand grasped me. No, it has not been easy. But. It has been worth it.

One of the biggest fears I have faced was the fear that if I didn’t get things “just right” God would take away this ministry He has given me. This fear has been at the root all kinds of potentially unhealthy behaviors: pushing myself in unhealthy ways, re-arranging my priorities, worrying to the point of not sleeping well,  striving to make things work according to what I thought best, and racing through other priorities in my life just to be able to feel like I was doing things well enough. As a result, I found myself continually trying to fight back living a lopsided life…one completely upside down from the priorities I teach… all the while feeling like I was on the edge of living the life of a hypocrite.

But God is so good. He knew just how to help. After guiding me through the fears I have had in my relationship with myself, in my role as a wife, in my role as a mom, and in my home, He knew I was ready to face the fears in this area. And so, during the past six months, He has been leading me through the murky, fear-riddled depths of my heart.

I quickly learned there is a reason He left this area until last…it housed ALL the fears I had faced,  and defeated, in other areas! But, in the area of ministry, there was a huge stronghold and God wanted to break me free from it. In an effort to encourage you by sharing the lessons I have learned I have been trying to figure out a way to explain the process I went through for almost a month now; but until yesterday I had no idea how.  That’s when, in frustration about how to share this experience, I looked up “fear” in my concordance and was reminded of Psalm 23:

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

I used to be afraid there wouldn’t be enough of me, that I wouldn’t be enough. This fear caused me to strive in my own strength to prove to God I was worth the calling He placed on my life. OOops… false thinking: Of course there could never be enough of me! That wasn’t the point! God wanted me to learn to let go of my insecurities and trust HIM to fulfill the calling instead. That’s why He led me through my fears in the other areas of my life first; I needed to learn to rely on Him in the areas that are most important in my life so that I could be freed to trust Him in the area of ministry as well. Once I did, EVERYTHING changed!

It wasn’t easy, believe you me. Facing fears is scary. I wrestled with God. A lot. Mostly out of my own false belief that I had to do it all. It was not a pretty battle. At the end of me though, there was God, waiting patiently with open arms and I realized He would shepherd me well, and that I could rest in that completely. At that moment of surrender He stepped in. Because I chose to accept that I am not enough in my own strength, and chose to give up control of this ministry to God, and asked Him to lead me through the ministry challenges He has allowed in, He has shown His grace and love in numerous ways that I could never have come up with on my own. That’s the first lesson in all this, and the most important: That God will show up when we ask Him to and listen to what He tells us.

As a result I have learned God WILL provide all I need. Every blessing listed below began as a major challenge I had no idea how to overcome. I share them not in boast, but in honor of God. He alone provided and He alone receives the glory for He provided it all, including:

  • New friends who are willing to give up their day off to shoot video with me and have husbands who love to create and edit videos, free of charge, for the new class videos we are shooting and the commercial we needed to produce.
  • Friends who welcomed the challenge of editing the newest version of Cultivating Peace just because they want to support what they too believe God has called me to do.
  • Companies who are willing to reduce their charges so that we can afford professional flyers.
  • Ministry leaders who believe God has given me something important to share with their women so they invite me to speak and then unexpectedly over-bless me with love offerings.
  • Professionals in marketing and web design who feel led to help me learn, on their own time,  how to navigate advertising and promotion in a God-honoring way.
  • Publication professionals who feel compelled to give me discounted rates on the changes I have had to make on the book not once, but three times.
  • Women who want so much to feel more of God’s peace that they sign up for a Bible study and workshop class, and then share their God-moments with me.
  • Sisters in Christ who daily remind me that they are praying for me and encourage me.
What more could I ever “want” in order to feel more sure that God IS my shepherd and the shepherd of this ministry?
Later this week I will share more of how Psalm 23 continues the story of God’s loving removal of my ministry-related fears. For now though, I want you  stop and “hear” what I am about to say:
I am no one special..His love, His provision, His grace and mercy are for YOU tool. He is calling to you too. Calling you to allow Him to lead you and to trust that with God in control, you will never want.
I am not the one one who believes this. Listen to this and be encourages my sweet friend:


I am praying for you.

Stephanie

 

 

 

October 7, 2012 at 4:44 pm | Daily Cup of Encouragement, What Will You Choose? | Comments (2)

Something Short and Sweet

1 Chronicles 28:20

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

20 David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.

I came across this passage a couple of days ago. Here’s what I wrote in my journal:

When God gives us a task to complete, (or a trial to face, or a new season of our lives) He sees us through. No matter how hard the work is, there is HOPE when we remember God IS with us. When we have that hope, we have PEACE which helps us allow God to be in control, keeping worry and fear at bay.

What are you facing today that seems too hard to handle on your own?  Invite God in and see how He sustains you with His hope and His peace.

I am praying for you!

Father, please be with my sweet sister today. She is facing the unknown…anxiety, fears, and worries threaten to mis-direct her actions and reactions. Help her to see Your way, to cling to the hope she has in You alone. Jehovah Shalom (our God of peace), please flood her with Your peace as she seeks to make decisions and choices today. Amen

 

Stephanie

October 2, 2012 at 7:38 am | Daily Cup of Encouragement | Comments (1)

Living the Peace-Filled Busy Life!

Hello All!

 

Again, I KNOW it’s been a loooooong time since I last posted, BUT today I am the featured sponsor for an amazing event called the Influence Conference. I have a post on their blog you might be interested in!

Also, while you are there, please check out the amazing women who are putting on this conference and the opportunities they are affording to women all around the country. It would be great if we could commit to offering a prayer for them as they seek top continue to live God’s priorities in their lives (one is even pregnant!) while also answering His calling to use their gifts to encourage others!

Finally, you ARE on my heart every day. Blogging has just had to move to the bottom of the list for a while. In addition to all my “regular life” activities like adjusting to Taylor’s high school schedule, home schooling Christopher (5th grade is tough!), making time for the hubby, and keeping our house peace-filled and picked up, I have been extremely busy introducing several new groups of women to Peace of Mind Ministries! I just finished speaking to a fantastic MoPs group at St. Paul’s Lutheran Church last week,  then switched over to presenting a workshop to an amazing group of women at Harvester Christian Church’s Daybreak Women’s event this past weekend, and I have been busy working on a whole bunch of material for the women I have yet to meet for the Influence Conference October 11-13.

Add to that the continual revisions of the new version of Cultivating Peace (I SO cannot wait to share the release date with you!) and you have one busy (and still peace-filled!) woman!

However, this weekend I WILL post a new newsletter, and hopefully I will be able to share the amazing new life lesson God has been leading me through next week.

Until then, know I am always praying for you!

Stephanie

October 1, 2012 at 9:15 am | Daily Cup of Encouragement | Comments (0)

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